Through Carlisles Eyes Ch.1 P1

Work was slow today. I hated slow days. They gave me too much time to think. I liked the fast paced, emergency situations. Not that I liked humans dying. But I liked, no LOVED when work was fast and quick. Maybe because that’s the way I was. Fast. Of course, Edward was faster. Edward. I remember the day I turned him. Vampire memories are always so vivid. It’s hard to forget anything. I remember him lying on that hospital bed. He was dying. His parents had preceded him, his mother the most recently. I didn’t want to tell him. Vampires and humans are the same in their love. If anything were to happen to Esme, I would want to die. Edward has lost both his parents, whom he loved dearly. But I had to tell him. And then I had to make him live. His mother had asked me to save Edward. She knew I could do it. What she didn’t know was WHAT I was going to do. She didn’t know what I was, what I was capable of. That I really could save him. By making him like me. I broke the news to Edward. He didn’t cry. He didn’t look angry that I couldn’t save her.
“She told me to save YOU.” I had had told him. Edward looked at me, his eyes filled with pain.
“I’m sorry you can’t.” He replied feebly. I saw his eyes close. I knew I had to act right then! Edward was about to die. He had given up. He had nothing left in the world, nothing to live for anymore. I struggled inside myself for a few brief seconds. Why not let him die? Wouldn’t it be better for him? But his mother. It was her last wish. Couldn’t I fulfill it? But she didn’t know what she was really saying to me. She didn’t know. I COULD save him, but not in the way she had though. I moved my head toward his neck. There were two options. One: I would kill Edward myself. Or two: I would save him. Whatever decision I made, that would be my answer. My teeth sank into the soft skin on his neck. The blood flowed readily from his veins into my mouth. It was wonderful. Edward yelled in pain, but I barely heard it. No one came to see what was the matter. Patients screamed and yelled in pain often. It was a common occurrence, nothing anyone was alarmed about. But I didn’t let go. Then an image of Edward’s mother flashed before me. I let go. After I did, it was easy to resist. I worked around blood all day. The smell or sight of it no longer bothered me. Edward was still screaming. I reached down again and bit his wrists, then the inner part of his arms, where they bent at the elbow. Those were the wounds I had sustained. I hoped they would do the job, and that he wouldn’t suffer for long. I wasn’t sure what to do with him. Patients made a lot of noise when they were dying or having seizures. I just didn’t know what he would do once the transformation was over. I had killed people when I was new. But I’d always hated taking innocent lives. What if he didn’t? What if he WANTED to kill people? How would he react? I had never turned anyone before. But I now knew that I could. It was possible. I thought about Edward now. He had turned out fine. He had gone through a rebellious stage once. That was the only time he had killed anyone. But everyone who lived in the house with Esme and me was free to go their own way. I hadn’t tried to stop Edward. I still wouldn’t, if he suddenly changed his mind. I still wonder if changing him was the best thing for him. He didn’t seem particularly happy with this life. But who could be? Everyone you knew, all your friends, the bonds you’d made. You had to watch all those people die, while you lived forever. But, Edward also didn’t seem like he hated our life. He was indifferent. Like Esme.